“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me, and I may be forced to love you.”
-William Arthur Ward
Tonight I’m feeling a bit reflective. When I’m in this type of mood, I tend to go over my favorite quote, which is above. There is a lot of truth in those simple words. As humans, we’re very sensitive to the things that impact us, whether it is positive or negative. And how each person reacts, will differ. I myself tend to be very sensitive. I cry easily, even if it’s a happy cry. I cry when I’m mad. I cry when I’m sad (Thanks Dr. Seuss). I can get flustered easily and feel like I’m in a million different spaces trying to get my head together; but I can also get a sudden urge to mentally and physically push myself in certain situations that require it. Nursing school has taught me to be calm when I could flip out, stern and direct when needed, smile when I want to go find a corner and cry, but also empathetic and caring, above all. Apparently I manage to keep a smile on my face for the sake of a patient or family member when, really, my eyes are stinging and I want to gag from certain things (aka smells). I have heard this from multiple nurses and classmates. But I truly care about each of my patients, no matter how “difficult” he or she may be. That includes family members of patients. They’re just as much of your care as your assigned patient. Never laugh or look down at a human being who is in their most vulnerable state. That can also be directed to people that are meant to encourage you and teach you. Telling a student that they are incompetent and you lack confidence in them over what could be minor things that suddenly seem bigger than they are, can do harm. It’s discouraging and disheartening. I don’t know what it is that allows some people to assume that they know you know and really, they don’t. They only see the surface and don’t allow themselves to dive in deeper and see the truth. When an instructor recently told me these very things, I bit my lip (literally) and didn’t fight back. I apologized for my mistakes (which were minor) and although this person could see I was upset, there wasn’t nothing left for her to say and so she continued on her way. I had a moment to regain my composure and although that took place in an empty bathroom stall, I’ve moved on and can tell myself I’m almost done.
Obviously the last few days/weeks have been a bit tough. I’m tired. I’m frustrated at times. But I’m almost done. and by “I”, I mean “we” as in my classmates and I. We’re all in this together
I’m almost at the end of a long road and I can see the finish line. While it’s difficult and seems to be getting harder, I’m continuing with my last push, getting myself closer to the goal. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, right? …sure
Thank you for reading this. I hope you understand it. It may have seemed like I was rambling, which I may have been. I’m also running on a low amount of sleep from the past 48 hours.
Next time, I promise I’ll be back to my usual self