My Birth Story. Wait, what?!

Hello friends. Long time no see! In the time I’ve been away… I’ve had a baby girl J she is almost 12 weeks old at the time of writing this. It’s been an absolute whirlwind but I couldn’t be any happier. I love being a mama! Since having her, I’ve had a few friends that are currently pregnant ask me to write about my personal experience with my labor and recovery. So this is for you ladies J I think the best place to start is my birth story…

My birth story. Or should I say Danielle’s birth story?

Where do I begin?

Danielle was due March 6, but I had her on February 20, exactly at 38 weeks.

She was a sweet 7 lbs & 13 oz at 19 inches long. That made her delightfully chunky from the get-go and has had the sweetest cheeks ever since. Her thighs have only improved with time as well. Oh how I love squeezing them!

Before I get into the details of my nearly 24 hour labor, I want to share a few things about my perspective on labor.

I am a firm believer in a more “natural” method, i.e. no epidural. However, what you choose if your decision. For myself, I have always preferred the more “natural” route. If I could have had a water birth at home, I would. But now knowing my body and how it handles labor, let’s just say I’m thankful that I had a hospital birth with my wonderful OB present. And yes, thank God for epidurals. More on that soon.

The weeks leading up to delivery, my husband and I had taken an online course for natural delivery, something I am much more passionate about than he is. He doesn’t believe that a woman should be in pain during delivery, because why? Modern medicine! I said I wanted to be in control of my body (ha! The irony…) and not put my baby at risk with medications. My mom and sister did it, why can’t I? I even saw my sister do it. Twice. If she could do it, I could do it. she had great labors that lasted less than a day. I should be the same. Right?

Anyway. At almost 38 weeks, I continued to work my M-F job, which is the same hospital I also delivered at. I had a great, easy-going pregnancy thus far and had zero complications in any way. I was doing my weekly OB visits and at my previous one 5 days before I went into labor, I was 0 cm dilated and baby girl was still high up. I wasn’t likely going to deliver for a few more weeks, we thought.

Tuesday, February 19, was supposed to be my last day at work and it would only be a half-day anyhow. I was 37 weeks and 6 days at that point. I did my 4 hours, said my goodbyes to everyone, and went to my weekly OB appointment.

Most appointments my husband or mom would come with me, but due to scheduling conflicts, I was alone for this one. The MA took my vitals and had a frown when she checked my blood pressure. She took it again then asked if she could do my other arm. I asked her what my blood pressure was. She replied “143/105” and on both arms it was the same. Now that’s a tad high for those who are unsure. And especially for me since my BP during my whole pregnancy had been nearly 120/80 the entire time. In 5 days in shot up. OB came in and explained that I was likely starting to get preeclampsia, which is very dangerous for mom and baby. I didn’t have any other symptoms though. But she said I needed to go to the labor and delivery triage to have it rechecked and after so many hours if it’s not back down, I would need to be induced.

Back to the hospital I went, but 3 floors below the floor I work on.

I immediately called my husband who was doing an electrical job to inform him of what was happening and I would follow up soon. I then called my mom, who immediately came to be with me despite me saying no at first.

Of course my BP only goes up while I’m in triage. Thanks, stress!

So of course I’m told I will need to be induced once a room opens up. At this point I’m hooked up to a monitor to check for contractions and baby girl’s heart beat. During all of this, I had actually begun to have consistent contractions about 2-3 minutes apart but were very mild. Just my stomach tightening. I assumed they were Braxton hicks. I didn’t know, I’ve never had them before!

My sister joined us at this point and I call my husband to inform him that I’m being induced but I am also in early labor anyhow. His response? “okay, how soon will this be? I’m pouring concrete” I told him he had time, haha.

So speeding up to finally getting a room. Husband is there, along with my sister, my parents, and his mother. My contractions continue to be 2-3 minutes apart and are slowly but surely getting stronger. I refused the pitocin, knowing my body was making contractions on it’s own but I did take one dose of cervidil, a pill to help “ripen” my cervix basically. My night nurse kept saying, “let me know if you need pain medication or change your mind about the epidural” which frustrated me because I was determined not to have one. I knew I could do it!

By midnight or a little later, I had made 0 progress in dilating aka 0 cm. but my contractions were still 2-3 minutes and getting very strong. I was having to focus on them at that point. I actually took one dose of pain medication before I knew I was at 0 cm because I was sure I was dilating to 5 cm or so. That medication was a trip y’all. I’ve never been high but I can imagine that it felt similar to what my nurse gave me, haha. My eyes refused to stay open for a solid hour or two. I could talk but it was slow. I don’t regret having it because I was able to relax a little at that point.

The whole time I would need my husband by my side during every contraction. Simply his presence made me feel better. He would hold me unless I pushed him away but demanded he stay close. He was the real superhero of this, haha. He was so beyond patient with me and listened to everything I said. He really never left my side the entire time. I wouldn’t let him, haha.

Our families had gone home for a few hours to get some sleep knowing I was making slow progress. During the time they were away the on-call OB said for me to make progress, she would need to insert a foley balloon to help me dilate. I had progressed to maybe 1 cm at that point. Although I think the OB was being generous, just to make me feel better.

The few times my cervix would be checked, I would have extreme pain in my pelvis, like the persons hand was pushing against my bone, making it so uncomfortable. They would assume it’s because they’re checking my cervix but I distinctly remember a bone-on-bone feeling. More on that in a bit.

I didn’t want to use the foley balloon, but knowing my body was working against me, I knew I needed to. The OB was mentally prepping me, explaining it and emphasizing “pressure”. Well, it went it and I barely felt it. Checking my cervix was more uncomfortable than that foley ballonon! I won’t go into detail, but it broke my water upon insertion and dilated me from 1 cm to 5 cm in less than 3 hours. By that time, around 3:30 am, I was finally at 5 cm. My contractions were lasting for a solid minute and were only a minute apart. This would be my norm for the remainder of my labor essentially. One minute of rest, one minute of hell. And rest? Not really happening when you only have a minute to recover from the most excruciating pain you’ve ever felt. My mom, sister, and mother in law (a labor and delivery nurse herself) all said I was making sounds and using tones they had never heard before. They all felt my pain, they knew it was bad.

The whole time my husband was there, holding me up and cheering me on so only I could hear him.

I was so exhausted I finally gave in and asked my nurse for an epidural. I knew my body was making slow progress and I couldn’t keep doing it at this pace. It took 3 hours for the anesthesiologist to get there, basically at shift change, every nurses dream, haha. It took 3 hours due to multiple crash c-sections, so the doctors were all very busy!

During those 3 hours of waiting, I believe I progressed to 10 cm because the last hour or so, my body began to push whether I wanted it to or not. I had zero control over what my body was doing at that point. My nurse wouldn’t check me, even when I requested it. I’m not sure why. Her only reason was she didn’t want to check often since my water had broken and there was a higher risk for infection. I think that either 1) she didn’t want me to push without an MD present or 2) she was afraid the MD would refuse the epidural for me if I was too close to 10 cm.

But my whole family and husband think I did in fact get to 10 cm.

The anesthesiologist finally arrived and I think I nearly cried when he walked in. I told him he had 1 minute in between each contraction to get this done. During each contraction, my entire being would change and my body would push. I couldn’t stop it! I was yelling “I’m sorry! I can’t help it! I need to puuuuuush!!” then when the contraction stopped I immediately apologized to the room. Each time. During my contractions, my nurse, mom, and MIL would all tell me to breath but each one told me to breathe differently. None of it really worked, haha. My body would push and I was so afraid my cervix would swell from it if it weren’t ready, which could prevent a vaginal delivery.

Well, the anesthesiologist was amazing and got the epidural in within minutes, all in between my crazy contractions. I thanked him profusely. Bless that man.

During all of this, by the way, my blood pressure continued to be elevated (150’s/100-110). I would have to lean to my left or right and it would actually help lower it slightly. If I sat straight, it would go back up. I found being in a sitting position or cross-legged was the most comfortable until I got the epidural.

The epidural kicked in within a few minutes. It worked a little too well and my entire left leg was completely numb. I couldn’t move it or feel it. Someone would hold it and I had no idea unless I saw them holding it. Such a weird thing.

By this time, my day shift nurse came in and I think she was part angel. She was the best thing that happened to me during my labor aside from the epidural, haha. She had a nurse trainee as well as a student, by the way. She was the most patient and calm person for me in those moments. I could look to her or my husband and I instantly felt calm and reassured.

After introductions, she checked and was shocked to find I was 10 cm dilated (seee…..?!) but baby was still a little high. She said my OB was actually in today and wanted to deliver my baby but was in c-sections for now. Since baby was still high up, we had some time to spare. Hubby and I actually got to sleep for an hour. I could feel my stomach tighten but it wasn’t painful in any way. I was so thankful. My heart rate and blood pressure came down a little bit too.

Around 10:50 am, baby was in the right position and we began pushing for the next 3 hours. My doctor would come in and out for the first hour or so. I was pushing with all of my might, but since my epidural was so strong, I couldn’t actually feel myself pushing. I just had to trust that my body was listening to my brain tell it what to do. Husband was on my right side, holding my hand and I was using his arm almost like a bar for me to grab, which allowed me to push harder. We tried having my legs in stirrups, have two people hold my legs up or have me holding a sheet for more leverage. We slowly began to see baby girl’s head but it would go back in after pushing.

After about an hour and half to two hours, my nurse and doctor determined that baby girl would come down then her shoulder would want to come first, like she was getting twisted. My doctor had to manually maneuver baby girl to correct it 3 separate times. The third and final time, she basically kept her hand in place until baby’s head was in the correct and best position so she could crown and I could push her out. During the last hour, she also instructed me to lay on my right side and push that way. That actually did wonders for me and I made so much more progress. At this point, I could feel the contractions coming and would tell them I was ready to push rather than rely on the monitors to tell us I was having one. I could finally feel myself push as well. I also had a mirror to see her and that encouraged me even more.

Baby girl was finally almost out so I was on my back again and I think about 3 pushes later… at 1:53 pm, she came out! When her head came out, the cord was wrapped around her once but they quickly corrected it.

They immediately laid her on my chest and I instantly started to cry. I had an instant sensation of “I know you, I’ve known you all along. You’re exactly what I dreamed!” There’s nothing that can describe that feeling. She was perfectly plump and sweet. She was a little quiet and the nurse kept rubbing her to get her to cry. She only cried a few times though and was fine after that. The whole time my husband and I kept looking at her, in absolute awe and wonder that she was finally here in our arms.

The entire time my husband never once left my side. He barely sat down the entire night. He really only did once I got the epidural and we got some rest. I know I couldn’t have done it without him.

I also forgot to mention that present in the room were… our mothers, 3 of ours sisters, my nurse, her trainee, two students, a resident, and finally, my doctor. After being up all night, I really didn’t care who was in there. Plus I had a cheering squad for the 3 hours of pushing.

I came out with only 1 minor 2^nd degree tear. That was stitched up quickly and after measurements, we three were left alone for our golden hour. It was the best hour of my life, my husband and I soaking up our new baby girl. We only whispered her name, since no one knew it yet. We discovered her birthmark on her chest. Looks quite similar to the one on my left shoulder. And yes, we counted her 10 toes and 10 fingers.

…..

My birth story was very different than the one I had planned. But that’s the thing with labor… you never know what will happen. I know in my heart, choosing an epidural was a tough decision but in the end, the right decision. It was that or end up having an emergency c-section, with the combination of my high blood pressure and baby not being able to crown on her own. With that, I don’t have any regrets in my story. Because in the end, I safely had a happy and healthy baby girl.

We discovered while pushing that I most likely have a platypelloid pelvis. To put it simply, my pelvis is shaped more like a kidney bean or a jelly bean. It’s oval shaped, rather than more circular like most women’s. It’s actually rare and most women with this pelvis have to have a c-section. That’s why my sweet baby girl couldn’t get her shoulders through on her own. I had no idea until pushing for over an hour. If I hadn’t gotten the epidural, I know I couldn’t have handled my doctor manually maneuvering the baby through, especially three separate times. It allowed me not to feel it so my body was relaxed when she handled Dani. Otherwise I would have tensed up and it may have been unsuccessful.

I also believe that with my pelvis shape, that’s why I hated it when they checked my cervix. The shape of my pelvis made it easy for their hand to push against my bone, causing extreme discomfort. But now we know!

I’ll share my recovery in another post. Because that is also a novel 😉

If you’ve stuck around this far, thank you so much for reading.

I Had a Weird Tuesday. But My Brows Look Great.

I miss writing about my days or trips, like a public journal. I am guilty of oversharing my life at times but while I am guilty of it, I am also unapologetic of it. I enjoy it. I enjoy making people laugh at the weird things that happen to me. I enjoy sharing my days, good or bad, so people know they’re not alone in situations.

So let me tell you about my Tuesday.

[I realize today is Thursday when I am posting this]

Now most days I go to work between 6:00 and 6:30 am, so I can leave by about 2:30 or so. I enjoy my schedule. Other days, because of meetings or classes, I may have to adjust my hours so I get my 8 hours and not get overtime.

This particular day I decided to go to work around 7:00 am because I had later meetings that day. I woke up at my usual time though so I could take a shower, wash my hair, and make myself look nice because not only was I doing interviews with my colleagues but I was also going to be interviewed for school. Goal was to leave by 6:30 am.

I left around 6:34 if I recall. Not too bad considering I have very long hair now, I curled it, and did a full face of makeup.

Well, I got on the freeway and it was a parking lot. I checked Google maps and there was a bad accident a few miles up the road. I thought maybe I’d stop at Starbucks, pick up a tea, and then maybe it would clear up in those few minutes.

Wrong. It was even worse. I was tempted to put my car in park a few times. I eventually got to work and clocked in at 7:39 am. Go me.

Our interviews started around 10:30 am, with a meeting getting cancelled prior to that. We gave ourselves 2 hours to do 4 interviews. We did 2 interviews in 2 hours. By then I had to leave to go to my next appointment. I was annoyed by this, as great as our interviewees were, because that meant I wouldn’t meet the next two.

As the educator it’s important to me to meet and interview them because I’m with them the first few months of their training, where I can really see the good and bad parts of an individual, you know?

I also didn’t have time to eat lunch.

My next appointment was actually for me to take a critical thinking test for potentially grad school as well as an interview with faculty. When I get there, the girl at the front desk seemed a bit confused I was there. She asked me to wait while she found the person in charge of scheduling these appointments.

Apparently the poor girl never confirmed my appointment with the faculty and now there was no one to interview me. I was at least able to take the test but would have to follow up on the interview.

p.s I did good on my test. Yay.

Well. After my morning and early afternoon of rushing and being delayed, I decided I was done with work. I went to my parents house and made a quick lunch.

My plan was to go grocery shopping and then immediately go to get my eyebrows microbladed (yeah!). Well, I suddenly had 3 hours to spare on a hot day. Luckily, the girl doing my brows had an early opening and I was able to see her right away.

I LOVE my new eyebrows.

Afterwards, I went shopping and couldn’t seem to concentrate. I had to keep going back and forth between aisles. Isn’t that irritating? Because you know it’s your own dang fault.

While I was in line to check out, I then dropped a huge bottle of kombucha and it.spilled.everywhere.

Fantastic.

Luckily the girl checking me out was so nice and cleaned it up immediately and wouldn’t even let me pay for it. Thank you kind woman at Sprouts.

I left and then sent a text message to my mom to pray for me as I drove home after the day I’d been having. Who knows what would happen to me on the road during rush hour…

I then went home. And went to bed.

Just kidding. I made a yummy dinner and ate it outside with my husband. After I found out he had In-N-Out for dinner…

That was my Tuesday.

xo, Briana

p.s. if you want info the microblading experience, let me know 🙂 I’m happy to share!

I Did Some Yoga. My Dog Helped. Sort Of…

In my last post I mentioned that I have a labradane (Labrador and Great Dane mix) named Ember. She’s almost 10 months old and has the funniest personality. Her eyes say a lot and she is generally very expressive.

She’s 1 of 10 puppies and is lucky because she gets to frequently see her siblings because each of my sister-in-law’s (3!) and my mother-in-law have one!

One of the reasons we chose Ember from the litter was the sass and personality she showed at a very young age. It hasn’t calmed down since she’s been home with us.

As I try to get back into writing, I think I’ll choose topics I enjoy. Ember is certainly one of them 🙂 My husband and I don’t have kids yet, so we talk about her like she is one. Haha. Hope you don’t mind!

I titled it what I did because I truly did yoga recently, and, well, she tried to help.

Please excuse my tummy. I’m a real human. I got a little love to share. Also working on my flexibility. Or lack of.

When I started my practice that morning she immediately began playing with me and so I turned on my phone taking a time lapse video. These were just funny screen shots I got.

This is her “why aren’t you sharing your food with me?” face. Her dane features really show here.

Now she’s trying to be sweet.

She really smiles! She’s a great camper and hiker! We got her her own pack so now she can carry her own water and food.

She is soo afraid of the vacuum that when it’s out of the closest she hides anywhere she can.. typically the tub if it’s open. I can usually count on her being there after I’ve vacuumed. But the lawn mower? Leaf blower? Weed whacker? Oh, those are her friends and she’ll happily chase or bark at them! I dunno what the vacuum ever did to her…

She’s a great traveler! We went on a two week road trip with my in-laws (we have our own remodeled cab over camper!) and she was soo good in the truck! She never whined or complained.

By the way, her grandmother was a pure bred AKC Great Dane that was “blue” aka gray. That’s where she got her coloring from.

She has green eyes 🙂

This is one of my favorite puppy pictures of her. She was so fluffy and cute! Now she’s just big and cute. She’s probably around 55-60 lbs now and she’ll grow a little bit more. Thankfully for us she’s not huge!

I never thought my husband would love an animal the way he loves her but if this is any indication of what he’ll be like when we have babies… He’s gonna be such a good daddy!

I’m especially thankful to have Ember when my hunny is working so many days straight. She keeps me company when I’m home alone and makes me feel safer.

Dogs really are a (wo)man’s best friend.

xo, Briana

First Post of 2017. It’s November.

Hello friends.

Long time, no writings. Once again.

I used to write weekly, even have posts drafted or little notes in my phone of post ideas. I used to carry my heavy and now outdated DSLR with me everywhere in order to take what I thought were outstanding pictures. Now all of my pictures are stuck on a hard drive or my phone, only to be shared on my personal Instagram with a cute hashtag and maybe on my personal Facebook.

That’s not the point though.

The point is I lost my drive and my inspiration to write. A few reasons why.

This was my favorite creative outlet to share my other creative outlets. I went through my phases of photography, cooking/baking, makeup, beauty, travel, etc. Because I started it when I was 20, it’s fun to go through my older posts and see where my mindset was. I can totally recall each post and where I was at in my life. I cringe at some of the things I wrote about, haha.

When I was in nursing school, it was a great stress relief for me, although it took a big hit in how often I wrote. I also attempted YouTube at the same time.

But really, once I got married and especially started working as a nurse, my priorities shifted, as well as where I put my time and energy.

It’s been almost exactly one year since I did my last post and I was honestly so disheartened and disappointed with people/humanity at the time that I had no desire to share my feelings or thoughts because it seemed like everyone else was shoving theirs down each other’s throats at the time.

I realize that was a horrible sentence, thank you.

Some days though I look at my blog and read some of my other favorite blogs and think to myself, “I could write again. I should write again.” I used to have loyal readers, people I never met and never knew in person but had a great relationship online. I miss it. I miss you. I miss sharing.

Do you even read this still? Do any of you come back here to see if I wrote anything and maybe you missed the notification?

Some days I feel like I’m at a place in my life where I could blog again. My content might change a little, but I do miss writing. So much has happened in a year, anyway. I have a lot of fun things to share.

In a nutshell… My husband and I bought our first home and we have our own dog, as sweet labradane named Ember. And yes, you read that right. Labradane aka half Labrador and half great Dane. She’s second generation LD as her parents are first generation LD. Oh, I also have a different job… Same department, just different job 🙂

Anyway. Had a random urge to come on here and purge my thoughts. If you did read this, would you come back if I wrote again? I won’t make any promises. But I’ll try.

Thank you friends.

xo, Briana

Be A Nice Human.

Note: This is not meant to be political, I am simply sharing my thoughts and will attempt to refrain from offending anyone. I always try to remain positive on here but am known to have a little Debbie Downer moment here and there. If you decide to comment, please be respectful of others and myself included. If I feel that your comment is too harsh, I will subsequently delete it. Thank you friends!

It’s been nearly one week since the elections here in the United States. The last 18 months of campaigns, news reels, and social media posts have been hot and full of opinions. I thought after November 8th, it would calm down but it seems to have simply become worse and more tense.

I dread going online and seeing hateful comments and posts towards each side. You voted for this person, so obviously you feel this way. You disliked this candidate, so obviously you think this way. I don’t see it that way. I see it as people were fed up with current situations and voted for the one they thought to be the most capable.

What bothers me so much is the sudden shift in people and how quickly everyone jumps to conclusions. People post and share things without possibly thinking that maybe it would or would not offend just anyone, but those close to them. You might think that the quote or article you are sharing is to enlighten and perhaps educate those in your circle and those you can influence thanks to the simple click of a button. You don’t post it to offend or upset anyone (well, maybe some of you). But what you may not realize is that by saying these things with such emotion and yet such ease, you are slowly pushing people away, people that are close to you, closer than you think. Right now, they may be drifting away from you and you don’t even see it. You care so much about what is going wrong with the other side that you don’t realize what is going on right in front of you.

I’ve been so disappointed in the actions and words of those close to me. I didn’t realize it would hurt so much but when I come home at night and talk about these things with my husband, it upsets us both to see friends and family acting in such ways.

Everyone has their right to vote, their right to say what they want. But it shouldn’t require the common sense to think, “What I am about to say, will it hurt someone? Will it affect someone in a negative way?” or “does this make me look like a complete and total ass to everyone if I share it?”

I know many people on social media are not trying to be hurtful, but right now tensions are high and emotions are running wild. I fear it will only get worse and I pray that things calm down.

I may sound naive and like the person who is simply saying “can’t we all just get along?” But maybe I am. It’s to the point where I’m about to turn off all social media and simply ignore it. But what will that do? What will that accomplish? Ignorance is not always bliss my friends.

I also want to make it clear that these feelings are directed to everyone on social media, everyone who posts something about either candidate, about either political party. I know the posts will continue, the hate will unfortunately endure. We as a country have made it this far, I don’t think we’re about to burn down in flames anytime soon.

“It is okay to be angry; it is never okay to be cruel” – unknown

“I think the world today is upside-down. Everybody seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater development and greater riches and so on. There is much suffering because there is so very little love in homes and in family life. We have no time for our children, we have no time for each other; there is no time to enjoy each other. In the home begins the disruption of the peace in the world. If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” – Mother Teresa

De-cluttering My Makeup Collection!

Hello friends!

Being a makeup junkie/collector/hoarder -however you want to call it- it’s hard to let things go… But sometimes you just gotta do it!

I’ve recently purchased a few new (lovely) palettes that I know I’ll be reaching for but this also creates the continued dilemma of limited space. Bub and I currently live in a very tiny space right now (more on that in a future post!) so it’s like I can pull in Alex drawers or anything dramatic. I also just don’t use some of my makeup for multiple reasons. A few of them being…

I don’t like the makeup like I thought I did.

It’s not a good product (for me).

I have something similar (story of my life).

I don’t like change.

The hype was not real.

So let’s get straight to it and I’ll show you what I’m donating to my old room at parents house where my grandma, mother, and sister can all benefit from my de-cluttering…

Concealers!

Now the reason I’m not using these anymore is for a few reasons… They’re either too cakey under my eyes (Tarte, Benefit); too dry (Urban Decay), or just “meh” (the rest of the bunch). What I love to use instead is the newer Too Faced Born This Way concealer OR the Tarte Shape Tape.

So before I explain these, let me tell you about my skin. I’m a combo/oily girl who is acne prone. I also have a warm/yellow undertone. So I need something to help me stay matte or at least semi-shine free through the day. I also like long-wearing because I work 12+ hours a day and yes, I do wear makeup at work.

When I first bought the Smashbox foundation, I loved it. But I don’t knw, the last month or so, it just hasn’t looked right on my skin. I’ve tried applying it different ways but after about an hour, I’m frustrated with it and want to take it off. The Tarte foundation was just disappointing in a few ways. The Clinique it really nice but too pink on me. And this is one of their warmer tones!

And the Urban Decay All Nighter? I had such high, high hopes for it. It has amazing coverage and does last all day but oooh how it clung to any little dry patch I had. But besides that (and the most annoying), it really accentuated my pores. And very few foundations actually do that to my skin. I use a primer and everything. It just didn’t look good on my skin.

I’ll just briefly explain these because I hardly touch this. Which is why I’m not using them. Ha. But they’re too cakey, not enough coverage, too dewy, etc.

Now the L’Oreal foundation I actually really did like. But it didn’t last but a few hours on my skin. It also dries out really fast. The other ones were too cakey on my skin, no matter how I applied them. Revlon also tends to make me look gray, in any formula and different shades.

I’ll explain in a later post about what foundations I do love though 🙂

The Smashbox primer didn’t do anything for me and the Benefit did not keep me matte. Boo.

For whatever reason, my lashes do not like a traditional wand. I have to use a wand with the rubber bristles that really help separate. Marc Jacobs was also very clumpy on me. You’re welcome, Mom! Enjoy the Lancome 🙂

I’m very picky with loose powders and so far, the only one I really like is the Kat Von D. It does not crease under my eyes nor feel too dry. The Too Faced powder also did not do anything and gave me a white sheen. Not cute. The Mac powder is also just old and way too dark for me, haha.

These are really nice, I just don’t use them! They’ll find a good home though among my sisters collection.

Again, good bronzers, I just simply don’t reach for them enough! My grandma loves the Too Faced one and plans on using it 🙂

Now all of these blushes come from good brands but I just don’t use these colors enough. My grandma, mom, and sister though were excited to see them!

And the palettes. Oh, the palettes….

Now let me explain these and why I am no longer keeping these at home (I feel like I have to explain myself, haha).

Hubby and I are currently living in a very small place and are very limited on space. I also simply don’t use these palettes enough because I have my very favorite palettes that I use more regularly. So I figure if I leave these with the other ladies in my life, they’ll actually get used! The majority of these palettes are all good, but I just don’t use them enough to keep them with me.

Lorac Pro Matte, BeccaXJaclyn Hill collab, and the Smashbox contour palette.

Now I do have to say I am quite disappointed in the Becca palette. And if you follow makeup news (haha), I’m sure you’ll know all about it… Basically, this palette was made in a different lab and the quality was not up to Jaclyn nor Becca’s standards and it was quickly discontinued.

As you can see the swatches are very weak. I was so hoping it would work out, too! I love the colors.

You tell my brushes have barely even touched these. And the colors are great, too! Just not enough love on my end.

Now while I like these, I do have to say I was slightly disappointed in the square palette. The shadows were quite dusty and didn’t blend well.

You can probably tell that I love warm tones just based on all of the palettes, haha.

I got the Pure palette in a FabFitFun box and it’s so dang similar to the original Naked palette, but I much prefer the quality in Urban Decay. I also am annoyed with myself for buying the Smoky palette. The shadows are all great quality, I just don’t use it enough.

Once again, great palettes! I just use other ones more! I love the Peanut Butter and Jelly palette, as well as the Natural Eyes palette. Those two I use very often!

And this one? Well, I probably used it once since I bought it very soon after it’s release. It needs more matte shades. There are no good transition colors in this palette. I don’t like having to use two palettes for a look, you know?

Anyway.

Well, THAT was a lot! Phew! But in the time that I took these pictures and have since dispersed the makeup, my collection back at home has become much more organized. And I had some very happy recipients at my mom’s house, haha.

I hope you enjoyed this post!

xo, Briana

FTC: This is not a sponsored post.

My Custom XL Z Palette – With Swatches!

When I first bought a Z palette a few years ago, I went a little crazy on depotting everything, thinking it would change how the makeup I used i.e. everything would be more accessible. While that is true, the act of actually depotting and then organizing was still won over by Urban Decay, Lorac, and Too Faced palettes that I used more often.

But now that I’ve gained a decent amount of single eye shadows from Mac, Makeup Geek (MUG), and a few Anastasia Beverly Hills (ABH) singles, my XL Z palette finally has a place among my most used palettes.

In deciding what to write about now that I’ve begun (again), I thought that sharing my custom palette would be an easy choice. I have some very well-loved shadows in here and you can quickly get an idea of the range of colors I love on my brown eyes.

As you can see, I love me some serious matte browns and red tone shadows, as well as the warm, rusty colors, and of of course green shimmers for my brown eyes.

I’ll list them in order of rows (top –> bottom).

Let’s call this the highlight/transition row because that’s pretty much all I use these shadows for.

Starting on the left we have Orb (Mac), Rice Paper (Mac), Soft Brown (Mac), Creme Brulee (MUG), Peach Smoothie (MUG), Desert Sands (MUG), and Saddle (Mac).

This might be my favorite row. Not sure. It might be a tie with another row you’ll see soon.

Left-Right… Mythology (Mac), Cosmopolitan (MUG), Expensive Pink (Mac and also identical to the previous shadow!), Sable (Mac), Country Girl (MUG), Antiqued (Mac & a personal favorite of mine for all over the lid as a one-shadow look), and finally Twinks (Mac).

This row I tend to use as colors to deep my look in the outer corner or through my crease. I can get away with these dark shades in my crease thanks to my hooded eyes. Perhaps I’ll do a pictorial blog on how I do  my shadows for hooded eyes? Thoughts

Left-Right… Amber Lights (Mac), Cocoa Bear (MUG & another personal favorite), Brown Script (Mac), Swiss Chocolate (Mac), Tolie (Mac), the 6th shade I’m not sure the name but I know it’s from Mac! and finally Sketch (Mac)

This row is in tie for first place with my second row. I love the coppery shades here. omg do I love to put these all over my lid…

Left-Right… Not sure of the first shade but it’s Mac, Brown (Mac), Cranberry (Mac), Coppering (my first ever Mac shadow & another personal favorite), Flame Thrower (MUG foiled eye shadow. Do you SEE the shimmer in it??), Glisten (ABH), and Burnt Orange (ABH).

How pretty and opposite is this row from the rest? Haha.

Left-Right… Not sure of the first shade but, again, it’s Mac! Sumptuous Olive (Mac, and it’s swatching great, sorry), Sure of this third shade but it was in a palette with the first from Mac, Ash brown (ABH), Red Earth (ABH), and Truffle Glitter (ABH). This row doesn’t get nearly as much love as the others, because I’m so drawn to reds and coppers, but these greens do bring out that pretty mossy colors that brown eyes have.

Sorry if the swatches aren’t the best! I’m a little rusty in that area, as you can tell… But I hope you enjoyed seeing this custom palette of mine! I bought it at IMATs back in January and am so glad I have a place for all of my single eye shadows.

Please let me know what other blog posts you’d like to see! I have a few ideas for some future posts but would love your input 🙂

xo, Briana

FTC: This is not a sponsored post.

Here’s to New Beginnings

Hello friends,

It sure has been a while, hasn’t it? Almost a year, in fact, since I last published a blog post. I attempted to write something a few months back but stopped after only a few sentences. It didn’t feel right at the time.

I took an unintentional break from writing from the simple fact that I was busy with my full-time job, school schedule, and just life in general. So let’s see where I was at a year ago…

Last year I was working 5-6 days a week for a blood bank over an hour away from my house; working on my bachelors of science in nursing degree, about 1/4 of the way through my program; my husband was working 3-4 days a week, staying at his station during those times, and course those looong weeks away fighting fires all the way up to October.

So what’s happening now?

I’m currently working 3 days a week at a wonderful hospital in our area 30 minutes from home. I’ve been there for almost 6 months and absolutely love it. My husband still works 3 days a week (sometimes more, but not often) and he gets to come home every single night because of the type of fire station he’s at. I finished my BSN program in August and will be walking at my commencement ceremony in less than two weeks. Go me!

In between all of that, other things have happened…

In the spring I cut off about 12 inches of my hair. I felt like it was time for a change and I loved how healthy my hair felt after cutting it. Ugh, so nice. I’ve only trimmed my hair once since the big cut and it’s already grown quite a bit. My husband of course misses my long hair but he likes how quick I can do my hair now. Ha.

Always traveling, of course. We went to Lake Powell in August with family and got to visit the famous Horseshoe Bend. We obviously saw this as a great opportunity for a cute picture. On this trip, it only made us love Utah even more and reconsider a move there someday.We’re also more than halfway done remodeling a cabover camper that we purchased in the spring with a Chevrolet diesel truck. We’re so excited to be one step closer to living life on the road…maybe. We’ll see. Ha!

This trip was also exciting because it was one month after I had LASIK eye surgery! If you have glasses or contacts, then you may understand the immense joy I felt of not having to worry about if I could see or not, enough contact solution, dry eyes, etc… My recovery from it was fast and the following day I was seeing 20/20. I love this new sense of freedom. It’s amazing!

In February our sweet Chubs passed away at the age of 9 and the following month we adopted a brother/sister duo. They’re half lab and half Great Dane. This picture above was taken when they were about 4 months old. They’re now 10 months old and significantly bigger. The brindle is the cuddly Smokey Bear (male) and his sweet green eyed sister is Denali May. Smokey is much more muscular now and weighs well over 100 lbs. He could weigh more than me… Not gonna lie. My husband actually has a hard time picking him up and my husband is quite strong… Denali (or Nali, as we call her) is very slim, but like a Great Dane. I can still pick her up if I need to.

They have wonderful personalities and love everyone they meet. They could never replace our previous dogs but they helped fill a void when we brought them home. But if you’re curious about the breed, look up Labradanes 🙂

Our most recent selfie (see, my hair grows!). I just think he’s so handsome in this picture.

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I’ve decided to start blogging again thanks to a coworker (love my 6300 people!). I felt inspired and so here I am. I share a passion for makeup with a few coworkers and talking to them about it only makes me feel more excited to start writing again. I also felt inspired about sharing my passions with others and am looking forward to this little space again. I personally want to thank Sheree and Genevieve for encouraging me to blog again 🙂 Thank you ladies!

My new job has me surrounded with such positive people that inspire me daily. I also love doing patient care again. It’s stressful at times (mentally and emotionally) but I love what I do. I can’t imagine myself doing anything else. I’ve learned so much and look forward to my time there.

At my previous job, although it was fun and I loved the people I worked with, I never felt fulfilled and was getting burned out very fast. The hours quick but the days long. As well as the drive. I could quickly see myself becoming someone I didn’t like and knew I needed to change my scenery. I miss everyone, but am much happier at my new job.

Thank you to everyone who has stuck around and continues to read my blog, even though it’s been silent for so long. I look forward to writing again.

xo, Briana

FTC: This is not a sponsored post.

We Bought A Car & Other Stuff

It’s been quite the last few months of highs and lows. As you know, if you read my last post (written over a month ago), my husband came home after 40 days of fighting fires. It was great coming home and seeing him there, with that mustache of his covering his upper lip again. Oh, how I missed him.

He came home on a Wednesday and went back to his usual schedule of Saturday-Monday, where he gets off Tuesday morning. That first evening back we planned on looking at cars, as we discussed a few months before that we needed to buy a new car for me. The Camry I had previously been using was getting up there in miles (220k+!) and the AC also happened to go out while Bub was gone. Long story short, we went to look at cars and ended up signing the papers to our new 2015 Subaru CrossTrek!

I love my car. So much. She’s so pretty.

Look at her! I love driving her around; she’s smooth, practical, sporty, and just so pretty. Haha.

Anyway, that following Saturday he got called away. Again. He was home for 10 days and 5 of those he was working at the station. This time he was gone for only 2.5 weeks, not 5.5. Ha, cake! 19 days are nothing compared to 40… So far this summer, he’s worked 5 fire and was gone for a total of approximately 68 days. In the span of about 78 days, he was gone for 68 of those. Yeesh.

For those who have followed me from last year and such, you’ll remember his epic Wyatt Earp status mustache. He got that growing again but shaved it off last week. Meh. I actually like it.

Since he’s been back, we’ve been able to see a few movies with friends, spend time with our families, and even go to the beach! We both got some nice tans, considering it’s October. But that doesn’t mean anything in California. Today was approximately 100 degrees. California doesn’t care that it’s “autumn.”

Note: I am wearing a bikini top; it’s strapless tho. So yeah. The waves were actually decent that day and I got tumbled around a bit while body surfing. I got a nice tennis ball size abrasion on the back of my hip to prove it. That sand is tough, man!

I also recently did a friend’s bridal makeup, as well as her MOH. It was fun for me and awkward for them because they’re the type of girls that really don’t wear makeup, which they don’t even need to as they’re naturally gorgeous anyway. But I loved doing their makeup and then having them tell me that I did better than the girls at Sephora… 😉

I wore a pretty new dress. I had my mom snap a picture of it to send to Bub because he couldn’t come as he was working.

I finished my RN training at work a few weeks ago and am now on my own! This also means I am now working in the desert, the same area where I did a lot of my nursing clinicals. My schedule is completely random and is now Tues-Sat. Some days I clock in at 0945, other days I’ll clock in at 0345. Ah, the life of a mobile RN… But I get to see beautiful sunrises again

#nofilter

School is also moving right along. I’m in my 4th class and with that, only 8 more to go!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Life is crazy. Life is busy. But life is good.

My husband and I are slowly getting back into a schedule and rhythm again. The first week or so of him being home is always weird. A good weird, but weird nonetheless. I get used to doing certain things without him and he’s used to living out of a duffel bag. Then he comes home and we get to share a bed again, go grocery shopping, talk about bathroom rugs, and just do normal couple things. He can fix the toilet that’s been leaking and I get to do our piles of laundry, which include smokey blue pants and many sets of scrubs on my end.

Life is good.

xo, Briana

How’s This For A Post

I’m ready for the change in seasons. We’ve had one too many 100+ degree days here in California with far too little rain, as per usual though. I’m ready for boots, for sweaters, for it to be okay to order a hot beverage at Starbucks (grande CDL with soy milk and kids temp please). I’m ready for cool weather to stop fires from spreading.

My husband returned home last Wednesday after 4 fires, 40 days, and 4,400 miles of traveling and fighting fires. It was a long 40 days and we’re all glad he’s home. The likelihood of his getting called out again is very high, but for now, we’re enjoying every moment together. We’re making plans and not thinking about the possibility of him going again. I prefer that people do not bring it up, nor the hot weather or changing winds. There are still some things that are not okay to talk about.

I love my job. I love talking to donors, I love seeing young kids want to do a good thing like donate blood. My coworkers are great. I love putting a 16-guage needle in someones vein and seeing that blood flow. Weird, I know. It’s a nurse/phlebotomist thing. 5 days a week is a long week considering most of the day are usually a minimum of 10 hours.

If you ever happen to see a Gina Lee or Gina Lee Michelle or anything around those names and she’s using my pictures, will you let me know? She keeps using them. It’s pissing me off. I think I got it taken care of, and nope. Let me know? K thanks.

I got black nail polish last week and I forgot how much I love it. You can add that to my “I’m ready for fall” list in which I will now wear dark reds and brown nail polish.

I have a new makeup setup and it’s a lovely acrylic draw set. I may have done some retail therapy while Bub was gone, which might include perfume and a new palette or two. But I may or not write about it here.

Right now, I have life going on and while I love my blog, I’m in the present with my husband, my work, school, and just life in general. I love you all.

All 402 of you 🙂

xo, Briana